The In-Growing Toenail Blog

Day 132: Travelling on Public Transport


Pain Level at Rest: 3/10

Pain Level if Provoked: 10/10

Visual Unattractiveness: 2/10

My toenail is affecting my relationships with complete strangers.  It used to be my personal secret, an embarrassing disability that is the subject of humor in ‘Carry-On’ movies but recently its shifted up a gear.

I could pull on a pair of shoes and for all intents and purposes I was a regular member of the public, no outward signs of distress or difference until the subway trip.

It started off well enough with a relatively empty train, plenty of seats and the relaxing hiss of second hand i-Pod music allowing me to play “name that tune” from clues consisting purely of notes exceeding 20,000Hz  and the occasional mumbled lip movement. However as the car filled up I was compelled to give up my seat and as each stop fills the train, commuting becomes more like a Japanese game show where they explore the limits of elevator capacity.

Then it happened, an unintentional placement of a hand made leather Italian instrument of torture was guided on to my toe with the force of a 170lbs focussed by stiletto and a gum chewing secretary.

White searing light, combined with a pain like, root canal surgery performed using a car battery and razor wire electrodes, coursed through my body.  If there was an apology, I was in no state to hear it.

The throbbing started to ease about 10 hours later as I boarded the torture train home.  This journey I was guarding my personal space like a grizzly bear with her newborn cubs.

From now on I am keeping the human race at a distance on at least 1 foot. Pardon the pun.

I’m not sure if there is a blog about an in-growing toenail. If there is, I’m not sure who would want to read it. The point is, there is no limit to what you can blog about. Around the globe there are over 1,000,000, Internet connected, English speakers who are currently enjoying the pleasures of an in-growing toenail.

Your blogployment site may not be the first thing they log into every morning – but hey if even a few find it useful you’ve got the start of an audience.